Dear Matzav Inbox,

I am absolutely boiling, and I know I can’t be the only one. Can somebody please explain to me when this became normal?

We pay $3,500 or more for HALF A SUMMER of camp. Half a summer! If you have a few children in camp, you’re talking about tens of thousands of dollars. Tens of thousands! We break ourselves all year to pay tuition. We borrow. We juggle credit cards. We cut back on family vacations because camp IS the vacation. We do whatever it takes because we want our children to have a wonderful summer.

And then comes Visiting Day. Then the next thing you know, you’re handing out envelopes. Tips for the counselors. Tips for the assistant counselors. Tips for the rebbeim. Tips for everybody.

Why? Somebody please explain it to me. Why am I paying your employees? Isn’t that what I already paid camp tuition for?

Yesterday I went to visit my children. Between all my kids, I spent almost $1,000 in tips. One thousand dollars! For what? Didn’t I already pay the camp? Wasn’t the tuition supposed to cover salaries? Or was that just the down payment?

If a counselor deserves more money—and many of them do—PAY HIM MORE. If a rebbe deserves a raise—and many of them do—PAY HIM MORE. That is the camp’s responsibility. Not mine.

Why are parents subsidizing camp payroll after already paying outrageous tuition?

Every year camp gets more expensive. Every year there are more fees. Transportation. Trips. Canteen. Laundry. This fee. That fee.

And now another thousand dollars because apparently the camp forgot to include employee salaries in the tuition bill. Enough already.

If the real cost of camp is another $300 per camper, then have the courage to charge another $300. At least be honest about it. Don’t smile at us all year and then quietly expect us to finance the payroll ourselves.

And before anybody says, “It’s hakaras hatov,” let me say something. Real hakaras hatov comes from the heart. When someone changes your child’s life, you’ll buy him a gift. You’ll write him a letter. You’ll show appreciation because you want to. The minute it becomes expected, the minute everyone is comparing envelopes and wondering what’s “normal,” it stops being hakaras hatov and becomes another invoice.

The camps should be ashamed that this has become the culture.

Parents are stretched to the limit. Every dollar matters. Yet somehow we’re expected to shell out hundreds and hundreds—and for many families, thousands—of extra dollars because camps won’t simply pay their own staff what they deserve.

Enough is enough.

Pay your own employees.

A Very Frustrated Parent

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