Dear TLS, Just wanted to thank you for putting in my letter. I received such an outpouring of advice and resources and I also want thank those who were so kind to respond with helpful ideas.

Unfortunately, the situation is much worse than I felt comfortable writing. It’s not the norm. My husband was raised in an abusive home, something I didn’t know before marriage. B”H he is very special person and wants our marriage to work above all else, so I have lots of hope, but he is terrified of his father and so am I. I am the first daughter-in-law there and I am the first to get married in my family, so we’re really inexperienced here. I reached out to TLS to hear from people who actually went through this and are now past it.

The most helpful piece of advice for us that someone replied with was:

The Torah clearly states in Bereishis
על כן יעזב איש את אביו ואת אמו ודבק באשתו…
a man must leave the (parent-child) relationship of his parents, or he is violating the torah. At the same time, the parents are also required from the Torah to allow their married children to leave the parent-child relationship, to enable their married children to obey this mitzvah.

We feel like this will give us the strength to stand up to my in-laws because they are also required to listen to this mitzvah.

I appreciate your help in helping us save our marriage! Thank you again! Tizku L’mitzvois.

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