As a child of a parent who suffered from some of the illnesses you described, I took some offense to the letter, especially as it came from a medical professional. We are not all as well informed and educated as you are but we want to do right by our loved ones.

Yes, we did reach out to medical referral organizations. And yes, the medically educated Rabbanim we consulted (actually called Chayim Aruchim at 3:00 am), were able to speak to the doctors and gave us clarity as to what the doctors should and should not do.

With regard to both terminal cancer and sepsis, we unfortunately, experienced both. With the guidance of above mentioned Rabbanim, we got our father on multiple antibiotics and antifungals and he actually recovered from a very severe bout of sepsis that affected his kidneys and his lungs. After a bout in rehab, he came home and participated in many family simchos until his passing many months later.

The terminal diagnosis of our mother came with much more pain both physically and emotionally for her and for our family. But, she was determined to fight the disease and live her life to the fullest. The same medical professionals you mention in your letter, who perform medical intervention via “Teva”, were quick to inform us of the futility of our requests (namely treatment, and nutrition). We brought her home from the hospital in a very debilitated state. Through (yes) a referral organization, we were connected to a frum oncologist, who prescribed IV nutrition and pain medication at home and started her on a treatment protocol, that she could handle. She was once again able to walk around and enjoy family members who came to visit. The memories of that precious time will stay with us forever.

So, while I really do not understand the purpose of your letter, I would like everyone to know there is another side. A side who will do everything to ensure their loved one gets the care they need, a side that is not afraid to reach out to experts for assistance, a side who does reach out to Rabbanim to make important decisions in their lives.

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