By Rabbi Joey Haber
Sukkot is called Z’man Simchateinu – “the time of our joy,” and indeed, the dominant theme of this holiday is simchah – joy. In the times of the Bet Ha’mikdash, a festive celebration called the Simchat Beit Hashoeva was held each night of Sukkot in the courtyard of the Bet Ha’mikdash with music and dancing. Today, Simchat Beit Hashoeva celebrations are held in many communities during Sukkot to commemorate the festivities in the Bet Ha’mikdash.
There is a certain irony in the fact that specifically on this Z’man Simchateinu, we are commanded to leave our comfortable homes and reside in a sukkah. The sukkah is a crude, temporary structure, and it is often cramped, chilly, and at times damp. How are these uncomfortable living quarters conducive to the experience of simchah?
The answer might be that this is precisely the point – to teach us that simchah does not depend on perfect circumstances. If we cannot experience joy under less-than-ideal conditions, then we will never experience simchah, because life is hardly ever ideal. And so specifically on Z’man Simchateinu, on the holiday of the greatest joy, we leave our homes and reside in the sukkah. In the first pasuk of Tehillim, King David warns us about Moshav Leitzim – “the company of scoffers.” The Leitzim – scoffers – are exceedingly dangerous. They can destroy everything, and they can do it very quickly. These are the people who sit around the Shabbat table criticizing, mocking and ridiculing. It’s usually the Rabbi, or the entire shul, or the school… They find fault in something, and then paint the whole thing as bad, igniting a flame of negativity that can spread like wildfire. Leitzanut – mockery – is so destructive, and it is oh so easy. If I wanted to, I could in a split-second ruin the reputation of any rabbi, lay leader or institution in our community – including myself. I could find more than a couple of mistakes I made and then start talking about them to people to make myself look bad. And I could do this about anyone and anything. No person is perfect, and no institution is perfect. There is always what to complain about – and so many people love complaining, focusing on the flaws and making something or someone good look very bad.
The scoffers appear to enjoy doing this, but, as the Sukkot celebration teaches us, joy is achieved by doing just the opposite. If we always focus on what’s imperfect, we will be very unhappy. A happy life is a life when we can enjoy the sukkah, when we feel content and happy even with things that aren’t perfect.
A well-known story is told about a man who approached his Rabbi in anguish, asking him to speak to his son, who was going to marry a non-Jewish girl. Nothing the father said could convince the boy to change his mind, so he wanted the Rabbi to try.
After meeting with the young man for an hour, the Rabbi soberly reported to the father that there was nothing he could do. “Sorry, but you made me useless,” the Rabbi said. “You would sit around the table every Shabbat complaining about me, making fun of my speeches and the way I ran the shul. Your son has no respect for me.”
This is what negativity does. When we always focus on what’s wrong, instead of appreciating and praising what’s right, we make everything look miserable – and our children, understandably, are not going to want to have any part of it.
Sukkot teaches us to find joy and satisfaction even in the imperfect, to direct our attention to all that is good about life and about the people around us, so we can live with genuine happiness under all circumstances and thereby spread joy instead of negativity.