By Rabbi Elimelech Biderman
The Rambam describes the various steps of teshuvah: “What is teshuvah? One must leave sin… and sincerely decide that he won’t do this sin again… He must regret … and say viduy…” (Hilchos Teshuvah 2:2).
The first step of teshuvah, stated in this Rambam, is to “leave the sin.” It isn’t sufficient to regret your wrong deeds and to say that you will improve. Teshuvah is to change; to stop sinning, and to do the mitzvos that you were neglecting until then. Some people don’t realize that. They think it’s sufficient regret their sins. They cry on Yom Kippur, “I sinned. I did wrong,” and they think that’s enough. But it isn’t sufficient. If he doesn’t translate his remorse into improved actions, an essential aspect of teshuvah is lacking.
The Rambam also writes: “What is considered teshuvah gemurah (complete teshuvah)? When one encounters the sin he had transgressed in the past once again, [he has the opportunity to sin again] and he refrains and doesn’t commit the sin because of his teshuvah (and not out of fear, or because he doesn’t have strength)…” (Hilchos Teshuvah 2:1). Once again, the Rambam is stating that a primary aspect of teshuvah is improving. Teshuvah gemurah, complete teshuvah, is when one doesn’t repeat his past sins. We can compare this to a person who owns a construction supplies store. Along one wall of the store are the bricks; another section carries lumber. He also supplies mortar, and other equipment. The store however, wasn’t a good investment; it was constantly losing money, so he decided to sell pharmaceuticals instead. But a decision isn’t sufficient. He must translate that decision into action. He must take out all the bricks, plywood, and building materials, and replace them with shelves stacked with medicines. He also needs to change the sign on the store. Deciding to change, without doing anything, isn’t sufficient. The same is with teshuvah. Deciding to change one’s ways certainly is the first step, but it can’t end with just a decision.
A fool, on the way to Warsaw, accidentally boarded the train traveling in the opposite direction. Someone asked him, “Where are you traveling to?”
“To Warsaw.”
“You’re on the wrong train. You’ll never reach Warsaw on this train. It’s going the opposite direction.”
“Thank you so much for telling me,” the fool said. “I didn’t realize.” He then promptly took a seat facing the opposite direction. We laugh when we read this story, but are we any different when it comes to teshuvah? When we realize that we’re going in the wrong direction in life, do we change our ways? Or do we just imagine how good it would be if we could change our ways and ultimately remain the same.
The Chofetz Chaim told the following mashal: A contagious, fatal disease was spreading through a small town. When one of the residents discovered that he caught the disease, he immediately packed his bags and hired a wagon driver to bring him to the nearby city where there was a doctor and a hospital that could cure him.
A neighbor asked him, “Why are you leaving town? You know that you aren’t the only person who caught the dreaded disease. Many people are ill in this town, but they just remain in their beds, in their homes. So why must you be different?” The ill person replied, “I don’t care what the others do. My life is in danger, and I have to save myself…” Likewise, the Chofetz Chaim said, when someone is clearly aware that the days of judgment are approaching, and he needs to do teshuvah to be saved, the yetzer hara comes to him and says, “You are not the only person who will be standing in judgment on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The entire world stands in judgment. But we don’t see them changing their ways. They are complacent, happy to remain as they were until now. Why can’t you be like them? Why must you be different?” He should tell the yetzer hara, “I don’t care what the others do. There’s going to be a great judgment, my life is at stake, and I have to repent and improve, to save myself.”