By Rabbi Dr. Yaakov Abramovitz

First things first

Parshas Bereishis is all about the beginnings: First creation, first light, first day, first person, first commandment, and of course, first sin. After blessing mankind to be fruitful, Hashem gives Adam his first official mitzvah. Yes, it has to do with trees and fruit, but it’s not what you think.

While most of us might remember that the first injunction to Adam was to not eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, a closer look at the text reveals that, in fact, another directive came first. “And Hashem commanded man saying: From every tree of the garden you shall eat” (Bereishis 2:16).

The Meshech Chochmah explains that this pasuk is not merely a setup for the following one in which Hashem tells Adam from which tree he may not eat. Instead, Hashem was formally instructing mankind to partake of all the wonderful enjoyments of the world. It was only after first emphasizing all the positive and exciting opportunities available that Hashem introduced the one restriction at hand. Presented in that way, man was primed to focus on the many positives, as opposed to the one negative.

Unfortunately, the Meshech Chochmah continues, when Adam passed on these instructions to Chava, this core message was lost. Instead of enjoying all that was allowed, they fixated on the one thing that was not, and this obsession led to the violation of their singular restriction. There is a lot to learn from the first mistake in history. A life of Torah observance is filled with so many wonderful, joyous opportunities, and by focusing on these over any limitations, we can have the true outlook Hashem intended. For example, instead of describing Shabbos to ourselves and our children as a day when we cannot use our phones, cannot drive, and cannot go shopping, we can authentically transmit the message that it is a joyful day when we can get together with family, can enjoy gourmet meals, and can appreciate the weekly opportunity to reconnect with Hashem.

Modern studies confirm that children are more likely to change undesired behaviors when we guide them toward correct actions, instead of screaming about what we do not want to see. “No running” can be reframed as “Please walk”; “Stop getting so angry” as “Why don’t you try taking a deep breath?”; “Put your phone away!” as “Can you please join us at the table?” If we haven’t had this positive perspective before, there’s a first time for everything!