By Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits

A person cannot swim without first being taught how to swim.

Once he masters the fundamentals and is ready to swim in deep water, he simply has to jump in. There is no reason for him to be afraid, because he already knows the basics.

The same is true of tefillah. A person cannot be expected to daven properly if he has never learned the fundamentals of tefillah. Many of the ideas presented in this chapter address real issues that people have with davening.

Giving It His All

A person who comes to shul is G-d-fearing and believes in Hashem; otherwise, he would not be in shul. Despite this, he may still talk in shul. A person can come to shul every day and yet daven without any feeling. Even if we do not feel a connection when we daven, we still must daven. We go to work even when we are not in the mood because otherwise our family will not have what to eat. The same is true of tefillah: one who does not have a desire to daven must still give it all he has.

Unfortunately, it is all too easy to adopt the mindset of, “Davening is not for me.” This is synonymous with saying, “I am not interested in Judaism.” A person must be honest with himself and try to correct this way of thinking. A person might go to shul because there is a certain way of living that he wishes to preserve, yet he does not experience pleasure when he davens. There are thousands of people like this who attend shul for seventy years while coming late, leaving early, and speaking during davening. Is this how we want to live our lives?

When learning Torah in yeshivah, we advance from one level to the next. Unfortunately, when we daven, we often remain at the same level of understanding of tefillah that we had in elementary school, without allotting time to learn about tefillah. Yeshivos are focused on finishing masechtos and often do not teach the fundamentals of tefillah. How wonderful it would be if yeshivos taught the meaning of the words in davening from the early grades. We spend so much time davening, yet we do not know what the words mean.

Many tefillah concepts will be discussed in the following chapters, but this should only serve as the beginning of a journey to delve into the wondrous power of tefillah and the role it plays in our lives.

Common Questions

People have many questions about davening: Why should I daven? What is the goal? Three times a day seems like such a burden; why do I have to do it? Why does Hashem need me to daven? Who am I that I should daven to Hashem and He will answer me?

These types of questions cause people not to take davening seriously, which can result in talking during davening. If we do not understand what we say when we daven, we do not feel a connection to what we are saying.

The Gemara counts tefillah as one of the things that require chizuk, and we must make sure to strengthen ourselves. Many of us do not find tefillah satisfying and do not wish to remain in shul one more second than necessary. Harav Elya Lopian zt”l said that one who never felt the sweetness of tefillah never davened in his entire life.

Over our lifetime, we spend tens of thousands of hours davening. We should make sure that we are not wasting our time by mindlessly turning pages. In addition, the way we daven affects our children, since they watch what we do and follow our lead. If we do not take davening seriously, talk in shul, or come late, our children may follow suit, which is very unfortunate.

A Long Davening

People should not have a hard time staying in shul even when davening is long. If someone in a baseball stadium leaves his seat, there are screens in strategic locations to make sure he does not miss even a second of the game. He enjoys watching the game and would not come late or leave early, because every second counts. This should be our attitude when it comes to davening. One who is davening should not wish to miss a second of it.

A man once visited a certain community and went with his host to shul. Everyone present was talking throughout davening, and the man was appalled. Years later, he was once again a guest at the same host’s home. He recalled his previous experience at that shul and dreaded visiting there again. Yet this time, when he went to shul, it was completely silent.

“What happened?” he asked his host after shul. “The last time I was here, the talking was out of control. Now, it is the complete opposite.”

The host explained that a few years earlier, some of the mispallelim had wanted to build a beautiful building worth $10 million and hire a new rav. Yet they realized that they were willing to spend so much money on a new shul without knowing anything about davening. They asked the rav whom they hired to give some shiurim on the fundamentals of tefillah. They devoted a great deal of time to this and ultimately decided that whoever wished to be a member of their shul had to commit to not speaking during davening.

Why Is Davening So Hard?

The Gemara says that one could make an argument that we should not be judged for failing to have proper kavanah in tefillah. However, why do so many people find it difficult to daven?

For all other mitzvos, there is a short, designated period of time. How long does it take to wash one’s hands before a meal? To put on tefillin? To shake a lulav? To hear the shofar? Not only do these mitzvos take a relatively short amount of time, but they are also not difficult to perform.

Davening is completely different. It takes a long time to daven. In addition, the mitzvah of davening is not merely an “action mitzvah.” It requires our minds and emotions. We must be on guard at every moment to make sure we are focused and connecting with the words of tefillah. This is one reason why it is difficult to find fulfillment in our davening. Concentrating on the words is difficult, which means that we often say the words without heart and soul. If we have no idea what we are saying, we find ourselves davening just to “get it over with.”

Another reason why it may be hard to daven is that when we speak to our friend, even on the phone, we know he is there because we hear his voice. If no one is responding to us, it is not possible to ascertain that someone is there conversing with us. Since we do not feel that Hashem is in front of us when we daven, it can be difficult to daven properly. We must first concentrate on the goal of tefillah. In every other aspect of our lives, we are aware of the focus of what we are doing. When someone opens a supermarket, for example, his focus is on making money. One who does not know what he is doing will get up and leave. Therefore, we must ask ourselves: What is the point of tefillah? Why do we daven? If the focus is obvious, we will accomplish our goal when we daven. If Hashem instituted davening every day, we must make sure to do it properly. We will see in the following chapters that these issues can be resolved—and that