Think About What We Are Asking of These Girls

Imagine being a 17- or 18-year-old girl traveling 5,000 miles away from home, entering a completely new country, school, and social environment, and trying to find your place.

And then, within the first week, comes Rosh Hashana.

Suddenly, she must figure out where to daven, whether she needs to buy a seat, where she will eat, who she will be with, and how she will get there. Some seminaries are far from the areas where these arrangements are available, forcing girls to pack up and relocate almost as soon as they arrive.

A few days later comes Yom Kippur, followed by Sukkos and an entire week of additional arrangements.

These girls are eating meals with people they barely know, often in environments very different from the homes they grew up in. While many families graciously open their homes, not every arrangement is appropriate. Some girls find themselves at meals with large groups of bochurim, sometimes even intoxicated bochurim. Others are forced to rent apartments because their seminaries close for all seven days of Sukkos.

Think about that. An 18-year-old girl has just arrived in a foreign country and is expected to navigate all of this on her own, before she has even had a chance to settle in.

Meanwhile, she is still trying to make friends, get to know her teachers, adjust to a new environment.

Is this really how we want a bas Yisroel to spend her Yom Tov going from meal to meal, eating in places she doesn’t belong, and wandering the streets of Eretz Yisroel late at night?

Does This Really Make Sense?

We send girls 5,000 miles from home for five days of school, only to leave them to fend for themselves through weeks of Yom Tov.

Is that really the best way to structure the year?

This is not about blaming any one seminary, family, or host. It is about recognizing that the system creates an unnecessary burden during what is already a major life transition.

We can do better.

There Is a Practical Solution

What if the official seminary year simply began two days after Sukkos?

Parents who want their daughters to experience Sukkos in Eretz Yisroel could still arrange for them to arrive early and stay with relatives or trusted friends. But girls would no longer be expected to navigate the entire Yom Tov season immediately upon arrival as part of their seminary schedule.

For everyone else, this would eliminate an enormous amount of unnecessary pressure.

The Conversation We Need to Have

We need to ask ourselves honestly: Is this really how we want our daughters to spend Yom Tov?

We should not be afraid to reconsider a schedule simply because it is what we have always done.

Sometimes, the answer is simple: It’s time to rethink the system.

Let’s put things in perspective. Let’s make seminary make sense for the girls.

Rabbi Moshe Dovid Perlstein