A gathering of leading rabbonim, roshei yeshiva, and chassidishe rebbes took place this week in Bnei Brak to mark the establishment of Kesef Layeled, a new organization dedicated to providing emotional, educational, and personal support to children and teenagers whose parents have divorced or separated.

The initiative, known in Hebrew as Katef Layeled, meaning “A Shoulder for a Child,” was established in response to the difficulties experienced by children growing up in homes affected by divorce. At the gathering, gedolei Yisroel spoke about the emotional wounds these children often carry, the tendency of many to conceal their struggles, and the responsibility of the community to provide them with consistent support and guidance.

Among those participating were Rav Shmuel Eliezer Stern, rav of western Bnei Brak; Rav Chaim Feinstein, rosh yeshiva of Ateres Shlomo; Rav Itamar Garbuz, rosh yeshiva of Orchos Torah; Rav Chaim Yosef Biderman of Lelov in Bnei Brak; the Pittsburgh Rebbe; and Rav Yechezkel Derbermdiker, rav of the Boyaner chassidim and the Sofrim neighborhood.

The gathering was chaired by Rav Menachem Shapira, rav of the new organization and rav of the Bais Boruch shul.

One of the most emotional moments came during the remarks of Rav Shmuel Eliezer Stern, who opened with the posuk, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds,” before sharing a painful experience from his own childhood.

“I became an orphan at the age of six. In those days, an orphan was the most miserable of the miserable. The scar remains with me to this very day,” he said.

Rav Stern noted that, boruch Hashem, numerous organizations have since been established to assist yesomim, but children whose parents have divorced frequently endure their own profound suffering without receiving the same attention.

“Children of divorced parents are also in a very difficult situation. Some hide their pain and do not want to appear unfortunate, while for others it comes bursting out,” he explained.

He emphasized that identifying these children and ensuring they have someone who understands their circumstances is an urgent communal responsibility.

“The need of the hour, rabosai, is to establish an organization, recognize their pain, and pair them with mentors who will understand them,” Rav Stern declared.

He concluded with a tefillah that those undertaking this work be successful in “finding the right language, how to strengthen these broken hearts.”

Rav Chaim Feinstein expressed his enthusiastic support for the initiative, describing it as an opportunity to emulate the ways of Hakadosh Boruch Hu.

“There is no doubt that this is a great mitzvah, to follow in the ways of Hakadosh Boruch Hu, Who heals the brokenhearted. These are broken hearts, broken homes,” he said.

The Pittsburgh Rebbe focused on the suffering that frequently goes unnoticed because children may appear entirely ordinary in school, even while carrying enormous emotional burdens.

“These precious children may appear outwardly just like every other child in their class, but when the school day ends, they do not have a stable, complete home to return to,” the Rebbe observed.

He described the establishment of the organization as something that “will truly be like cold water to a weary soul,” explaining that timely intervention could also “spare parents, educators, and the administrations of our holy institutions much anguish, when they identify early on any matter that requires assistance.”

Rav Yehuda Leib Kopf, the spiritual director of the Klal Chassidi cheder in Beit Shemesh and educational adviser to the new organization, spoke from his own experience of losing his father, the Lelover Rebbe of Branovitch zt”l, who passed away suddenly during a Purim seudah when his son was just 16.

“I became an orphan when it was still not popular. It was society that placed the stigma on orphans, because people were judgmental,” he recalled.

Rav Kopf stressed that changing communal attitudes must begin with the leadership of the Torah community. When gedolei Yisroel and professionals convey that children facing difficult family circumstances should not be ashamed, that message can gradually influence the broader public.

“It will filter down, and it can only filter down from the top,” he said.

Drawing on his experience as a cheder principal and yeshiva mashgiach, Rav Kopf related heartbreaking conversations with children struggling to cope with their parents’ separation.

One eight-year-old boy told him, “My father will manage. My mother will manage. If anyone is going to pay the price, it will be me.”

Another child, approaching his bar mitzvah, asked whether he could donate money he had received as prizes to help his mother cover household expenses.

“Someone said here that a six-year-old child becomes a ten-year-old,” Rav Kopf remarked. “I say that a six-year-old child becomes a ninety-year-old man.”

Rav Meir Leifer, mashgiach of Yeshivas Chernobyl, described a conversation he had just the previous day with a bochur whose parents had divorced.

“In my shiur alone, there are eight like that,” the bochur told him.

Rav Leifer observed that many children in such circumstances are reluctant to discuss their family situations, even when they desperately need support.

“How can we make them understand that we only want what is best for them, and that they should not be afraid to come?” he asked.

Rav Dovid Breverman, who will be involved in guiding the organization, addressed the connection between family difficulties and the challenges faced by young people who begin distancing themselves from Yiddishkeit.

He noted that, in his experience working with families of struggling teenagers, many cases involve painful family circumstances that have contributed to the child’s difficulties.

“In most cases, there is a family story behind what is happening,” he said.

To illustrate the importance of providing a stable and supportive relationship, Rav Breverman described a bochur in Ponevezh whose parents had divorced and who refused to consider shidduchim.

An avreich and talmid chacham took the young man under his wing, inviting him to his home every Shabbos for a year and a half.

“He suddenly saw a father and mother who had love and peace between them,” Rav Breverman related.

Eventually, the bochur married.

“A child needs to know: I have someone who is like a father, and this is the address I can turn to. Instead of building a hospital next to the bridge, let us repair the bridge,” he said.

Rav Ariel Yazdi, another professional involved in the initiative, emphasized that the relationship between a child and a mentor must be personal, consistent, and sensitive. A mentor might be the person a child calls after being insulted or the adult who accompanies him to purchase a suit for his bar mitzvah.

“But this has to be done delicately. It is not a five-kilogram hammer; these are fine, delicate tweezers,” he explained.

Bnei Brak Mayor Chanoch Zeibert also attended the gathering and spoke about the importance of establishing the organization, pledging municipal assistance as the initiative develops.

Other participants included Rav Shimon Kashash, an official in the city’s education department; Rav Yosef Shlomo Gerlitz, director of the Hakshiva Center operated through municipal social services; social worker Rav Bentzion Feist; and Rav Yonasan Tiefenbrunn, who will assist with the organization’s professional and educational support services.

The organization’s initial program will establish a network of trained mentors who will meet individually with children on a weekly basis, offering a dependable relationship and assistance tailored to each child’s emotional, educational, and personal needs.

The mentors will receive professional training, along with monthly lectures and ongoing guidance, to help them recognize difficulties, respond appropriately, and provide the steady support that children facing family separation may be missing.

The organization’s leadership expressed appreciation to Mayor Zeibert and Bnei Brak’s education and social services departments for their commitment to providing professional resources and educational assistance as the new initiative begins its work.

{Matzav.com}