Dear Matzav Inbox,

I watched the Let’s Talk Kashrus episode about party planners, and honestly, I walked away boiling.

I’m a party planner. I’ve been doing this for 30 years. I’m not here to argue. I’m not here to defend myself or dodge questions. There is always room to improve. Fine. But if we’re finally talking about kashrus, then let’s actually talk about it — not dance around the elephant in the room.

Because here’s the reality everyone seems very comfortable ignoring.

There is a non-Jewish party planner operating openly in Lakewood, and Lakewood is giving it a blind eye. This isn’t a rumor. This isn’t new. This has been going on for years. I personally have raised this issue with people again and again. And again. And again. Nothing.

Let’s be clear about what this means.

She comes on Shabbos.
We don’t know who is putting the food into the warmers.
We don’t know where the knives come from.
We don’t know where the food is ordered from.
We don’t know what standards — if any — are being followed.

And everyone is just… eating.

People like to whisper, “Oh, she’s cheaper.” She’s not. Anyone who actually knows the industry knows that. Put that aside anyway. Even if she were cheaper, is that now the new bar for kashrus?

Why do we always wait for the explosion?

Why do we wait until there’s a massive scandal, headlines screaming, people discovering they’ve been eating non-kosher, and suddenly everyone clutching their pearls saying, “How could this have happened?”

How could it have happened?
Because it was happening in plain sight, and nobody wanted to deal with it.

Before we start lecturing Jewish party planners about certifications and requirements — a conversation I’m not running from — maybe someone should explain why half of Lakewood is perfectly comfortable trusting a non-Jew with kashrus with no transparency, no accountability, and no oversight.

Before you point fingers at us, answer that.

The rest of the party planners know about this. We’re not quiet about it. We’re raising the roof. And still — silence.

Personally? Before I go to a party, I ask who the planner is. I ask about the kashrus. I don’t just walk in and eat. Do other people do that? Or do they assume that if it looks nice and smells good, it must be fine?

That’s not kashrus.

If we’re serious about standards, then let’s be serious across the board — not selectively, not conveniently, and not only when it’s uncomfortable for the people actually trying to do things right.

We don’t need another scandal to wake up.
We need honesty.
And we need courage.

A Very Frustrated Party Planner
Lakewood, NJ

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