There are certain memories of Rav Nosson Wachtfogel, mashgiach of Lakewood, that I often think about, even though it is already more than a quarter of a century since his passing. One memory, of course, is about the way he was metzapeh l’yeshuah, the way he longed for the geulah. He always spoke about “him,” Moshiach, as if he was mamish at the doorstep. The memory of him dancing with every last ounce of strength at the ne’ilas hachag on Shavuos as the tzibbur sang “Achakeh lo bechol yom sheyavo” is something that I just cannot forget. Here was a Yid who was in his high eighties, dancing like a young boy with every last bit of energy, clearly longing for Moshiach.

Another memory that sticks out in my mind about the mashgiach from Chodesh Elul is one that I would like to share and expound on. In the Lakewood Yeshiva and in many of the yeshiva’s branches all over America, the minhag during Elul is that after davening, one perek of Orchos Chaim L’haRosh is said. The chazzan says a sentence and everyone repeats after him. It is said in a mussar niggun that both arouses a person to improve and, in some ways, bemoans the fickleness of the human condition.

Don’t Act When in a Behalah!

One of the lines in the Orchos Chaim L’haRosh is only three words long. The words are “Al tevahel maasecha — Don’t be rash; don’t do things in a behalah.”

The mashgiach, Rav Nosson, would say this in such a mussardige niggun and with such feeling that the words and their message penetrated deeply: “Don’t lose yourself. Don’t just melt and fall apart when faced with a nisayon. Don’t be in a behalah and lose control. Take it slow. Don’t get overwrought. Be patient. Be deliberate. Just slow down and think before you do something you will regret.”

That was the message. That is what he was telling us, and the way he said those words with that niggun implanted itself in our minds and brains even more than the “Kars for Kids” jingle.

I was thinking about Rav Nosson this week because, in the more than twenty-five years since his passing, the behilus, the rashness, the loss of control that is prevalent in the world has gotten exponentially worse. There is no patience in today’s world. Have you ever been in a car with someone in their twenties when Waze stops working? They just melt down. They simply can’t function. This is just a nice “civil” and “kosher” example. In our generation, the generation of the text message, WhatsApp, and other social media, people expect everything to be instant, and when it is not, they often fall into a behalah.

Now, you might think that this writer is some old guy bemoaning how “today’s kids” are so deficient as compared to previous generations.

No and no. That is not the purpose of these words.

Today’s Generation — A Weaker Generation Whose Every Bit of Effort Counts

On the contrary, I recently saw something from Rav Tzadok Hakohein of Lublin that I think shows how today’s generation is, in many ways, much more amazing than many previous generations. He bases it on a posuk in this week’s haftorah.

The haftorah begins with the words of Yeshaya Hanovi, “Roni akarah lo yaladah…ki rabbim bnei shomeima… Sing out, O barren one who has not given birth; break into glad song and be jubilant, you who have not been in travail. For the children of the desolate (Yerushalayim) will outnumber the children of the inhabited, said Hashem.”

In his sefer Pri Tzaddik, Rav Tzadok Hakohein of Lublin quotes the Arizal, who once told his talmid, Rav Chaim Vital, that in our dor yasom, in our orphaned generation (note: this was said 500 years ago!), even a tiny act of avodas Hashem that is done lesheim Shomayim is far more choshuv, far more important to Hashem, than some of the greatest acts of avodas Hashem done in earlier generations. This is the meaning of the words, “Roni akarah — A barren woman sings.”

Our generation is like a barren woman. We are not producing much. It appears that each passing generation is just getting weaker and weaker. Still, even though our generation is like an akarah and “rabbim bnei shomeimah — many are the children of the desolate,” the little bit that we do accomplish is more choshuv to Hashem than the countless “offspring” and beautiful mitzvos done by previous generations. Why? Because in our dor, even a tiny bit takes so much effort. Hashem appreciates our effort. He treasures and values every bit of our effort, and it gives Him tremendous joy.

“I Will Get Sechar the First Time I Serve Hashem While the Yeitzer Hora Has His Grip on Me”

In the sefer Bikkurei Aviv by Rav Yaakov Aryeh of Radzamin, he quotes one of the early Chassidic masters, Rav Zisha of Anapoli, who said, “I do not anticipate getting Olam Haba for the avodas Hashem that I do now, when I have some level of understanding of Who Hashem is. Of course, I must serve Hashem. How would I even think otherwise? What I will, however, get s’char for is the first time I served Hashem when I was still in the dark and the yeitzer hora had a firm grip over me. At that moment, when the yeitzer hroa had a firm grip on me and I still overcame him, I persevered and served Hashem. For that first time, I will be rewarded. Yes, serving Hashem when it is hard, when everything seems dark, that is what Hashem values most.”

That is why, in this generation that is so prone to impulsivity and is often overwrought and anxious about things that in past generations would have been deemed fairly insignificant, every bit of calmness, keeping one’s cool, and not getting sidetracked by the obstacles that the yeitzer hroa puts in our way is so choshuv to Hashem. Even taking on the smallest of kabbalos, something that might seem almost worthless to us, is precious to Hashem.

Remember: Hashem Knows Us! He Created Us!

The lesson for us is clear. Now, especially now, in the month of Elul, when we are thinking about teshuvah, we should never despair and think, “Why would Hashem value the little bit of effort that I put into serving Him if I am deficient in so many other ways?”

As we think about teshuvah, let us realize that Hashem knows us and knows how difficult things are for us, and He values every bit of effort, every little bit of hisgabrus. He knows how behalah, becoming overwhelmed and unable to cope with temptation and with overcoming one’s middos, is so difficult in today’s generation. “Hu yoda yitzreinu” — He knows our yeitzer hroa because He created it!

He knows the gevurah that it takes, particularly in today’s generation. Therefore, even if our mitzvos look like an “akarah” with barely any peiros, we rejoice, because those little, tiny mitzvos and efforts at overcoming the yeitzer hora are most beloved.