Following widespread complaints about road conditions during the last snowstorm, Lakewood Township officials have unveiled a bold new initiative aimed at “putting the power of snow removal directly into the hands of residents,” TLS has exclusively learned.

Already underway, every household began receiving a complimentary DIY Snow Cleanup Kit, which officials describe as “a practical, scalable solution designed for maximum community participation and minimum municipal involvement.”

At the center of the kit is a standard tabletop salt shaker.

“This isn’t just any salt shaker,” a township spokesperson told TLS in an exclusive statement, while carefully demonstrating a single grain being dispensed onto an icy sidewalk. “This is a precision-based snow mitigation device. Residents can apply it exactly where needed — one crystal at a time.”

The kit also includes a laminated instruction card encouraging residents to “think big, start small,” and a motivational sticker reading: ‘You Are The DPW Now.’

Officials emphasized that the program comes with a full guarantee: once salt is applied, results are expected within 6 to 8 weeks, or residents will receive their taxes back in full — “pending review, processing time, and several clearly defined exceptions.”

Local reaction has been mixed.

“I went through half the shaker just getting from my front door to the driveway,” one resident told TLS, noting he is optimistic conditions will improve by early spring. “They said it works. I just have to be patient.”

Others praised the township’s innovation. “It’s nice to finally feel included,” another resident told TLS. “Before this, snow removal felt like something only professionals handled.”

Township officials confirmed that if the program proves successful, Phase Two may include a Deluxe Winter Preparedness Kit, featuring a tea light candle for “ambient ice melting” and a printed photo of a plow truck “for morale purposes.”

As of press time, residents were reportedly coordinating neighborhood efforts to combine their salt shakers in hopes of clearing an entire intersection by mid-April.

TLS wishes all a safe storm and a Happy Purim.