As we approach Pesach, many of us are struggling with something very real: understanding the concept of Pesach chumros, how far to go with them, and where exactly to draw the line.

We all know the basics. Many have a minhag not to eat gebrokts, not to mish. Some avoid many processed foods entirely. Others go even further: no processed milk, using shmaltz instead of oil, and more.

And the question people are quietly asking is:
Do I have to do exactly what my parents did?

I want to share a scenario I know personally, and my thoughts on it. I think it applies to many situations, and I’m happy to hear what others think.

There’s a family with a strong Pesach mesorah; generally, they avoid many store-bought products. But at the same time, they do buy certain things: milk, cheese, leben, chocolate, orange juice, and more. For the kids, they’ll allow some basic snacks like macaroons and ladyfingers.

So here’s the honest question:
Is this really the exact mesorah going back generations?

If you’re already buying all these processed items, why stop there? Why are some things considered fine, and others suddenly off-limits?

We say our grandparents didn’t eat these foods; that’s true. But we also have to remember: they didn’t have much available the whole year either.

I sometimes wonder what our great-grandparents would do if they were living today, with everything available. Would they eat more products? Would they go to Pesach programs? Would they use kosher l’Pesach takeout?

The truth is that no one really knows.

Another example someone brought up was about not eating peels on Pesach because their grandfather didn’t. But it turned out that the grandfather peeled everything the entire year; it wasn’t a Pesach chumra at all.

So how do we look at all this?

Here’s my thought.

Pesach is a time where we try harder to hold onto mesorah and take on chumros that we may not necessarily keep the whole year. Even people who don’t follow every family minhag during the year often feel that Pesach is different; and it is.

At the same time, I think it comes down to four things:
Halacha.
Mesorah.
Practicality.
Shalom bayis.

Yes, I do believe a person should try to follow their father’s minhagim as much as they can, whether those came from his father, his yeshiva, his rabbeim, or the community he grew up in.

If it works for you, and you’re able to do it, that’s the right thing.

But it shouldn’t be done with pressure, frustration, or feeling overwhelmed.

If there are things that feel too difficult, I believe most parents would understand, and would be happy knowing that their children are trying to do their best.

At the end of the day, that’s what matters.

I hope this gives some clarity, and I’d be happy to hear others’ thoughts.

Wishing everyone a Chag Kasher V’Sameach,

A Lakewood Resident

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