By: Rabbi Efrem Goldberg

A few weeks after October 7th, a colleague approached me with an unusual request. His tone was more serious than usual. He asked if he could speak with me for a moment, and of course I agreed, though I wasn’t sure what to expect. He explained that someone from a national Jewish organization had been trying to reach me multiple times since October 7th and felt completely ignored. According to him, this individual was ready to write me off and had concluded that there was no relationship. My colleague asked me to do him a favor and simply respond. I was genuinely surprised. Ignoring someone repeatedly didn’t sound like me at all.

While I’m certainly not perfect, I try to respond to messages in a timely manner. Curious and confused, I took out my phone and showed him that I had no record of any outreach from this person. A few hours later, my colleague returned with an update. He had followed up and asked what number had been used. The answer was that he had been texting the Shul landline. All that time, messages had been sent into the void. Once the misunderstanding was clarified, I reached out, explained the situation, and thankfully everything was resolved.

Our parsha, Kedoshim, commands us to “judge our fellow with righteousness.” Rashi, quoting Chazal, explains that this means we should judge others favorably. We often understand this to mean that we lack the full picture. If someone behaves in a way that seems questionable, we assume there must be information we don’t have. Perhaps the person leaving a non-kosher restaurant had an innocent reason, or perhaps a message went unanswered because it was never received. While that is certainly true, it cannot be the entire definition of judging favorably.

The Gemara teaches that one who judges others favorably will be judged favorably by Hashem. This is difficult to understand, because unlike us, Hashem lacks no information. He knows every fact, every detail, and every hidden motive. So what does it mean for Hashem to judge favorably?

Rav Yosef Sorotzkin explains that human beings are extraordinarily complex. Every action is shaped by countless factors, including upbringing, personality, life experiences, emotional struggles, and unseen pressures.

We recite in the stirring Tefillas Zaka prayer before Yom Kippur:

It is revealed and known to You that I did not intend through these sins and iniquities to anger You and rebel against You, but I followed the counsel of my evil inclination, which always, each day, sets a trap for my feet, to ensnare me.

In essence, we are telling Hashem, “You know what I’m going through. You know how hard this is. You know my struggles. You know what I’m dealing with. You know all about my pressures, my fears, my anxieties, my strengths and my weaknesses, my opportunities and my liabilities. Externally, objectively, you have all the information and I am guilty as charged; but if you also include what is internal, if you consider the totality, I am struggling, so please judge me favorably.”

This is what it means for us to judge others favorably. It is not only about assuming we lack information, but about recognizing that even when we think we understand a situation, we still do not grasp the full inner world of another person. The Mishnah teaches, “Do not judge your fellow until you reach his place,” yet in truth we can never fully reach another person’s place. We cannot relive their experiences, feel their struggles, or understand the totality of what shapes them. Rav Chaim Shmulevitz adds that the issue is not what information is available, but what we choose to focus on. Every person has admirable qualities and flaws. The question is which aspects we emphasize and allow to shape our perception.

This idea is reinforced by another teaching in Pirkei Avos, which instructs us to judge the entire person favorably. The emphasis on “the entire person” reminds us that no one can be reduced to a single action or moment. There is always more beneath the surface, an inner life that remains hidden from view. When we train ourselves to see the whole person, we naturally become more compassionate and less judgmental.

This message is especially relevant during the period of Sefirah, when we mourn the students of Rebbe Akiva who perished because they did not treat one another with proper respect. A lack of respect often begins with judgment, particularly when we focus on differences rather than shared values.

We currently face so many enemies from without. Israel has been attacked for three years, and antisemitism is on the rise all over the world. With so much hostility around us, let’s be kind and generous within our communities and our families.

Judging favorably is not simply an ideal; it is essential for building strong relationships, healthy communities, and a more compassionate world. When we recognize that every person is carrying unseen burdens, when we choose to focus on what we share rather than what divides us, and when we see the whole person rather than isolated actions, we create an environment of respect and empathy. In turn, we merit that Hashem relates to us with that same compassion.

In a world so often marked by misunderstanding, choosing to judge favorably has the power to bring us closer to one another and ultimately closer to redemption.