To my dearest friends and families,

There is a painful crisis happening in the Lakewood greater area that too many families are suffering through silently: the girls’ high school situation.

This is not a small issue anymore.

This is not about one or two girls “not getting into the school they wanted.”

This is a growing community-wide problem affecting many regular, good girls from ehrliche Torah’dike homes who simply do not fit the exact mold schools are looking for.

If your daughter is not a top academic student…
If she is a little less “yeshivish”…
If your family does not have connections…
If you do not have money, status, or the “right” last name…

then suddenly the process becomes terrifying.

Parents sit in fear for months.

Girls hear whispers, rejections, silence, waiting lists.

And many eventually hear the words:
“Wait for the Vaad.”

Ribono Shel Olam.

Is this what a bas Yisroel should feel going into high school?

A girl who comes from a good family, with good middos, with a warm heart, with potential, with dignity — suddenly feels unwanted because she was not a straight-A student in eighth grade?

Let’s be honest with ourselves.

The issue is much larger than admissions committees.

The infrastructure no longer matches the reality of our community.

There are so many elementary schools feeding into far too few high schools. We are not short a few desks. We are missing an entire strategy.

And while everyone is trying their best, many families are being crushed in the process.

This letter is not meant as chas v’shalom an attack on schools, hanhalos, rabbanim, or askanim. We know there are many caring people working endlessly behind the scenes. But at some point, we as a community must stop pretending this is just a yearly inconvenience.

This is a crisis of dignity for our daughters.

Especially now, before Kabbalas HaTorah, how can we not ask ourselves:

What about the girls who feel pushed aside?
What about the daughters of the quieter families?
The struggling families?
The families without influence?
The girls who are not wearing the latest styles, not coming from the “prestigious” backgrounds, not fitting the image schools want to present?

Are their futures less important?

Are they less precious?

Are their future homes, future children, future kedusha worth any less?

Absolutely not.

Our next generation of Yiddishe mothers will not only come from the girls who were the most polished, most connected, or most academically successful in eighth grade.

Great mothers come from all kinds of homes.
Greatness comes from warmth, heart, emunah, resilience, and feeling valued.

Every bas Yisroel is a bas melech פנימה.

Every single girl deserves to feel respected, wanted, and believed in.

We need action.

Not more scrambling in August.
Not more quiet suffering.
Not more families begging for favors.

We need leadership.
We need planning.
We need new infrastructure.
We need more options and more pathways for different types of girls while maintaining strong Torah values.

Maybe that means opening new schools.
Maybe that means creating a true community high school with proper support for a broader range of students.
Maybe there are other solutions.

But something must change.

This letter is not about pushing an agenda or attacking anyone.

It is simply a cry — a shriek — for the families suffering quietly and the girls who feel invisible.

To our rabbanim, askanim, mechanchim, and community leaders:
We know you care deeply.
We know your hearts hurt for these girls too.

But the time for a real communal plan is now.

Before another year of pain begins.

If this letter speaks to you, act now. Your ideas, your action, your tefillos, and your voice can help change the future of our daughters immediately.

ביחד ננצח

— A Concerned Community Resident

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