‘HAVE A DIET COKE’: Dr. Trump’s Cure for TDS Goes Viral

President Donald Trump posted an AI-generated video of himself in the character of Dr. Trump, setting out to heal patients suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome, TDS.

TDS is not a real medical term but a mocking description of people whose opposition to the president is so irrational and reflexive as to appear deranged. Nonetheless, studies show that the fixation on Trump in mainstream media is real.

For example, a study from the Harvard Kennedy School found that coverage of Trump in his first 100 days in office in his first term made up 41 percent of the news, roughly three times more than previous presidents. The Pew Research Center found that in the first year of Trump’s first term, only 31 percent of the news covered Trump’s policies, compared with 50 percent for President Barack Obama and 65 percent for President George W. Bush.

In the video, the AI-generated Trump wore a lab coat and stethoscope.

“You or someone you know been diagnosed with TDS?” the character of Trump said. “The symptoms can be relentless. Fortunately, I’m Dr. Trump, and I have a treatment plan. Let’s hear what some of my patients have to say.”

The next characters to speak are AI-generated versions of celebrities like Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg.

“I have been suffering for over a decade, and after listening to Dr. Trump, I can see some results,” the character of Rosie O’Donnell said.

“Man, I’ve been suffering for years. I really didn’t believe that was help out there. That was when I came across this video on TV,” the character of John Leguizamo said.

The patients “testified” that TDS had been ruining their lives.

“I had no idea how much this was affecting my life. My work is slowed down. I’m hardly recognizable anymore. I just needed help,” the character of Edward Norton said.

But the treatment, according to Trump’s character, is simple.

“The treatment is simple,” he said. “Turn off fake news. Say your prayers. And if you ever feel anxious, just have a Diet Coke like me, and you’re going to see a remarkable difference in your life.”