This is a true story. Really. I can’t say that every single word transpired with one person, but certainly these things happened with a few people I know, and I am simply combining the points into one story. I am writing this story in the feminine, but it could just as easily be written in the masculine with different examples. Indeed, I am sure that many parents and many girls (and boys) can identify with these facts, or with similar ones. So, here is the story:
Leah stamped her foot in frustration. “Why is it so hard to be good, to do what Hashem wants? I really want to be good. I really want to be ehrlich. I want to do the right thing. But what should I do? I am human! I love ice cream (even though it makes me gain weight). I love hocking about school stuff (even though it includes a lot of unkind words about teachers, principals, and classmates). I really, really love nice, stylish clothing (and what’s in style might not always conform to hilchos tzniyus). Jewelry? Let’s not even go there. Okay, so the stuff I really want is way too expensive… But if I was rich? Look out!
“What should I do? Life is just so hard! I have so many things I like, so many things I want, and at the same time, I want to do what Hashem wants! But, but…what should I do? I am human! That is how Hashem made me.”
In a way, Leah has a very real, very legitimate point. Hashem has plenty of malachim in Shomayim. If Hashem had wanted to give the Torah to malachim, He certainly could have done so.
In fact, the Gemara in Maseches Shabbos teaches that when the malachim saw Moshe Rabbeinu coming to accept the Torah, they begged Hashem to keep the Torah in Shomayim, to give the Torah to them and not to human beings. What was Moshe Rabbeinu’s response? “It says in the Torah, ‘Honor your father and your mother.’ Do you have a father and a mother to honor? It says that it is forbidden to steal or engage in immoral conduct. Do you have a yeitzer hara for these things? Is there kinah, jealousy, among you?”
In one of his famous songs, Rav Ephraim Wachsman passionately brings out Moshe Rabbeinu’s arguments to the malachim. “Malachim, malachim,” he cries out, “have you ever had a heart filled with kinah? Malachim, malachim, have your insides ever burned with sinah? Have you ever felt what it’s like to have a yeitzer hara who doesn’t leave you alone? Do you even know what it’s like to live far away from the Aibishter’s holy throne? Have you ever withstood a nisayon until you felt you were being torn apart? Have you ever gone through a tzarah? Have you ever had a broken heart?”
Hashem Gave the Torah to Us — Not to the Malachim
So yes, Leah does have a point. Hashem gave us a yeitzer hara. He incorporated all kinds of retzonos, wants, and needs into human nature. However, He also gave us the Torah.
The only mistake that Leah is making is assuming that the Torah and her retzonos are contradictory. She does not realize that the Torah itself offers her the tools and the wherewithal to deal with her very real desires and the difficulties that Hashem has not only put in her path, but has tailor-made just for her.
This is what the first posuk in this week’s parsha means when it says, “V’ailah hamishpotim asher tosim lifneihem — These are the laws that have been put before you.” Perhaps it can be said that the word lifneihem, “in front of them,” means “in front of the Yidden, not in front of the malachei hashareis.”
Hashem gave the Torah to the Yidden, not to the malachim. Hashem davka gave the laws of the Torah to us — to us humans who have failings. He specifically wanted us, human beings, who do have a yeitzer hara, to have the Torah.
This very fact should serve as a tremendous source of chizuk. At times, we become disheartened and perhaps even give in to despair, just like Leah. We may say, or at least think, “It is so difficult. Why does it have to be so hard?”
Therefore, a person must know and understand that, yes, he or she is a bosor vodom.
A person must also realize that Hashem davka created man with the constant tension of the guf “fighting” against the neshomah. Hashem did this on purpose, and that is why the Gemara teaches that “ein Hakadosh Boruch Hu ba b’trunya im briyosav — Hashem will not take us to task for something that is impossible for us to fulfill.”
The Antidote? Living a Life of Torah
So what can we do to make it doable — and enjoyable?
We all know the famous Gemara in Kiddushin that states, “Hashem created the yeitzer hara, but He created the Torah as its antidote.” Yes, a man learns Torah and that helps him overcome the pull of the yeitzer hara, and a woman or girl should live in accordance with the Torah, and that will serve as the antidote.
That said, it is clear that Hashem understands that at times we may fall. Yet, He has given us the kochos to elevate ourselves slowly, level by level. Not all at once, but very, very slowly. That is why last week’s parsha, Parshas Yisro, ends with the posuk that one should not ascend the mizbeiach on steps. The baalei mussar explain that this posuk is teaching us that one shouldn’t jump steps, madreigos. People should constantly elevate themselves, one step at a time, slowly and deliberately.
We Are Not Malachim — and We Shouldn’t Try to Jump to Become Them
We should not try to be instant malachim. First of all, it won’t work. But the real reason is that we are not malachim. We are human beings, who need to take things slowly.
Let’s continue with our apocryphal story.
It was one week later. Leah was in a shoe store and caught a glimpse of an absolutely adorable pair of shoes — the “I must have!” kind of shoes. She quickly asked the salesperson for a pair to try on. They fit like a glove, and they were so comfortable. There was only one problem: One of the colors in the shoe was loud and eye-catching, sort of fluorescent.
She felt like stamping her foot again as the internal battle began. “They are really, really cute! I have been searching for a cute, comfortable pair of shoes for so long! And they are even on sale! The bright color is just on a small part of the shoe. It is not so bad.”
The other voice in her head said, “But they are not quite tzniyusdig. How can I wear them? I really, really want to do what is right.”
“But they are soooo cute!”
Suddenly, it hit her. The lesson from Parshas Mishpotim. The lesson that Hashem davka gave the Torah to people with desires, so that they could try, one step at a time, to overcome them. She exclaimed to herself, “I can do it! This is one tiny ‘step’ that I am going to take. I am not going to buy this pair of shoes today. I don’t know if I will be able to resist my desire next time, but I am going to try…one step at a time!”
The Greatest Eis Ratzon: When You Overcome the Yeitzer Hara
I once heard a distinguished mashgiach ask a group of bochurim, “Who wants to know when is the greatest eis ratzon, the most opportune time for tefillos to be answered?”
He then answered, “I know some of you might be thinking Yom Kippur at Ne’ilah, maybe Purim in the pre-dawn hours, or perhaps Shavuos, the day of Kabbolas hHaTorah. But I think there is an even greater time. That time is when you are walking in the street, possibly even on the way to shul or yeshiva, and you are suddenly faced with a challenge, something you really shouldn’t look at, something that is assur to look at. Every bit of you feels pulled in that direction. It feels like something with the force of an eighteen-wheeler is pushing, pushing, pushing you to look.
“Still,” the mashgiach continued, “if a person can draw on his latent strength, avert his eyes, and look the other way, at that very second he should direct his mind and heart to Hashem and say, ‘In the zechus of the fact that I was stronger than an eighteen-wheeler barreling toward me, please answer my tefillos. Please provide me with cheishek in learning. Please provide my sister with a good shidduch bekarov. Please send a refuah sheleimah to this sick person I know,’ or anything else that he needs.
“Why is it such an eis ratzon?” the mashgiach continued. “Because Hashem made us. Hashem knows how hard it is — ki Hu yoda yitzreinu! When Hashem sees how you put His mishpotim lifneihem, before everything, before your wants and desires, He says, ‘Avdi atah Yisroel asher becha espa’er — You are My servant, O Yisroel, in whom I take pride. There is nothing that gives Him more nachas.”