As a mother of a talented young girl, I’m compelled to speak out about the seminary application process that’s causing immense stress and heartache for countless families. The current system prioritizes academics and wealth over individual potential, leaving many deserving girls without a spot.

The pressure is palpable: secure a place in a prestigious seminary or risk being left behind. But what about those who don’t fit the mold? Girls who excel in non-academic areas, those from less affluent backgrounds, or those who simply need a different path? They’re often left with limited options, forced to settle for less, or worse, feel inadequate.

The financial burden is staggering, with some seminaries costing upwards of $30,000. Is this really about providing a spiritual experience, or is it a business? And what’s the message we’re sending our girls? That their worth is tied to their acceptance into an elite program?

But here’s the thing: schools are encouraging girls to apply, touting the life-changing experience of seminary in Israel, without ensuring they’ll actually get in. It’s a bait-and-switch, leaving girls and families crushed when rejection letters roll in. Schools need to assure and provide support to allow each girl to get into a seminary of their choice before pushing them down this path. Don’t create a one-size-fits-all expectation and then not deliver.

We need change. It’s time for seminaries to rethink their approach, prioritize inclusivity, and provide opportunities for every girl to thrive. Local seminaries, flexible programs, and merit-based aid could be a start. Let’s give our girls the chance to shine, not break under the pressure.

To all the girls who’ve been rejected, your worth isn’t defined by a seminary. You are enough, and your path is unique. Keep pushing forward; your time to shine will come.

Let’s work together to create a system that values each girl’s potential, not just their grades or bank account.

Signed,
A broken mother for all girls going through this

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