A former hostage held by Hamas in Gaza has shared a powerful and deeply moving account of his captivity, describing moments of intense suffering alongside unwavering emunah and clear experiences of hashgacha pratis, in an interview with the Hidabroot Channel.

Rom Braslavski spoke candidly about one of the darkest points during his captivity, when he grappled with thoughts of ending his life, but ultimately held back due to his understanding of Torah values. “I had a suicide mission. I told myself that if the war ends and I’m still here, I won’t commit suicide, because suicide is forbidden, but I will make a suicide party.”

He described a chilling incident in which he briefly had access to a weapon belonging to one of the terrorists. “I grabbed the Kalashnikov, I cocked it. I had about four minutes alone with the gun, I just got cold feet; I couldn’t continue.”

Throughout his time in captivity, Braslavski said he endured severe hardship and repeatedly found himself on the brink of death, yet saw clear signs of Yad Hashem guiding him. “From October 7th until my release, I experienced with my own eyes divine providence. I saw death before my eyes, I even experienced clinical death, and the moment you are saved time and again, I’m alone, and I’m beaten, and I stand in front of a wall, without eyes, without legs, without arms, nothing, you can’t do anything, a hostage.”

Despite everything, he emphasized that his emunah remained strong throughout. “I know that G-d is here with me, and I know that there is a reason for these beatings. That is the price I accept on myself.”

He also reflected on how he observed Yom Tov under impossible conditions, choosing not to eat chometz on Pesach despite extreme hunger and pressure from his captors. “I decided not to eat pitas. When I told him that, he refused, he said I had to eat that pita and a half, and that he wasn’t asking me. What I did was, I was with a Thai hostage. When he brought the food, the Arab would leave, and I would give my pitas to the Thai.”

Asked how he managed to survive with so little sustenance, Braslavski answered simply: “I wasn’t really nourished. I lived on a plate of rice, maybe a bit of beans.”

His account stands as a powerful testament to the strength of emunah and mesirus nefesh even under the most unimaginable circumstances.