Dear Matzav Inbox,

I’m writing this because my heart is heavy, and I suspect I’m not the only one feeling this way.

We just went through another month of Nissan and moved into Iyar. In our circles, this time of year is about Sefirah, about the mourning for the talmidim of Rabbi Akiva who didn’t show enough kavod to one another. We talk about it in every shul, we learn the Gemara in Yevamos, and we warn our children about the dangers of Sinas Chinam.

But then I step outside, or I open a group chat, or I sit at a Shabbos table, and I see a different reality.

I see Yiden—good, erliche Yiden—who can spend three hours debating a Tosafos but can’t spend three minutes acknowledging the neshama of a brother who wears a different colored yarmulke. I see the way we talk about the “other side”—the ones who say Hallel today, or the ones who see the hand of Hashem in the State.

We’ve turned our hashkafic differences into a reason to delegitimize another person’s entire existence. We treat a fellow Jew like a project to be corrected or a threat to be avoided.

I’m not a politician, and I’m not a posek. I’m just a Yid who is tired. I’m tired of the labels. I’m tired of the “Us vs. Them” mentality that has seeped into our kehillos.

How can we look at a fellow Yid—someone who is sincerely expressing Hakaras HaTov to the Ribono Shel Olam, even if it’s in a way our Rabbanim don’t subscribe to—and feel anything but a sense of shared connection? We are so quick to judge the method that we completely ignore the sincerity of the heart. We are so focused on being “correct” that we forget to be “kind.”

The Chofetz Chaim says that the Beis HaMikdash is waiting for one thing: for us to stop being “right” and start being brothers. We are so busy guarding the walls that we’ve forgotten who we’re supposed to be guarding them for.

To my fellow readers who feel this “ache” in the middle: You aren’t alone. It’s okay to love a Jew you don’t agree with. In fact, it might be the only chumra that actually brings Mashiach.

Let’s stop the argument for just a moment. Let’s try to see the Pintele Yid again. Because at the end of the day, when we stand before the Kisei HaKavod, Hashem isn’t going to ask us if we were “right” about the State. He’s going to ask us if we loved His children.

A Pained Reader (Name withheld by request)

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