Dear Matzav Inbox,

Everyone is busy arguing about the latest “smashburger” story—treif, not treif, who said what, who certified what. Fine. Have the argument. But the truth is, even if you settle that entire discussion, you’re still left with something much more uncomfortable that nobody seems eager to address.

What is going on with our obsession with food?

I’m not talking about enjoying a good meal. I’m talking about the nonstop, over-the-top fixation that has somehow become normal in the frum community. Open a WhatsApp status. Scroll Instagram for a minute. It’s the same thing on repeat—people standing over grills, filming themselves slicing steaks, zooming in like it’s a surgical procedure, narrating every bite as if the rest of us are supposed to be impressed.

Or people sitting in restaurants, rating every dish, telling us how good it is, making total fools out of themselves. “Wow. Wow. Guys, this is insane. Wow. Wow. Guys, guys, I’m telling you, you gotta try this. I’m telling you guys. This is incredible. Wow. Wow.”

For real?

And the reactions are just as bad. “I’m drooling.” “This is insane.” “Next level.”

Grown adults talking like that, publicly, about food. It would be funny if it wasn’t so embarrassing.

At this point, it’s not even about eating. It’s about performing. Showing. Broadcasting. As if putting meat on a grill has become some kind of accomplishment that needs an audience.

And it doesn’t stop there. Walk into any wedding today. Nobody even pretends otherwise. People size up the simcha based on the menu before they’ve even sat down. The conversation afterward isn’t about the chassan and kallah. It’s about the carving station, the sushi, the late-night buffet. You hear the same reviews every time, like people just came back from a restaurant critique instead of a wedding.

Restaurants are another story altogether. Every new place has to outdo the last one, and people run after it like it’s breaking news. Pictures, videos, commentary, endless hype. You would think we were dealing with something of real importance.

We’re not. We’re talking about food.

We’re supposed to be an am kadosh. That doesn’t mean we don’t eat well. It doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy things. But it does mean there’s supposed to be some sense of proportion, some awareness of what deserves this kind of attention and what doesn’t.

Instead, we’ve taken something basic and turned it into a centerpiece of our lives. It fills our conversations, our screens, our social interactions. It’s constant. And after a while, it just looks…small.

There used to be a certain dignity in how people carried themselves. Today, people are proudly putting their indulgence on display for anyone who wants to watch. Not privately. Not quietly. Loudly. Repeatedly. As if this is what we want to be known for.

That’s what makes the whole thing so uncomfortable. It’s not one person here or there. It’s a culture. It’s a tone. And it doesn’t feel like it fits who we are supposed to be.

There’s a difference between enjoying something and revolving around it. Right now, it feels like we’ve crossed that line a long time ago and just kept going.

So yes, argue about treife smashburgers all you want. Just don’t pretend that’s the real issue.

The real issue is what we’ve become comfortable with. The real issue is why we don’t feel like throwing up every time we hear someone say, “Wow. Wow. Guys, this is insane. Wow. Wow. Guys, guys, I’m telling you, you gotta try this. I’m telling you guys. This is incredible. Wow. Wow.”

Sincerely,
A reader who thinks we can do better

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