As a mother who has watched her children pack up for summer camp year after year, I am writing to ask camp directors to take a hard look at a ubiquitous tradition through the lens of genuine chinuch: the “Best in Bunk” or “Camper of the Month” award.

Choosing just one “winner” per bunk conflicts with a foundational truth of our generation: we must do our utmost to show every child that they are uniquely special, rather than telling one kid he is better than the rest.

To understand how damaging this is, look at our own homes. Imagine the immediate outcry if I stood up at my Shabbat table and handed a trophy to my favorite child, crowning them “Best in the Family.” We would instantly recognize that as a parenting disaster that breeds toxic rivalry and crushes the other children. Yet, as parents, we pay thousands of dollars to allow 17- and 18-year-old counselors to do the exact same thing to a bunk of sixteen children.

Without the training of a seasoned educator, a teenage counselor naturally treats “Best in Bunk” as a popularity contest, picking the most charismatic or athletic kid. This sends a crushing message to the rest of the bunk—including the kids who are fighting their own nature just to behave—that their personal avodah (struggle) and unique character are invisible. In today’s world, our children face unprecedented emotional pressures; they do not need to come home feeling like they didn’t measure up to the counselor’s favorite.

I know change is possible because I once had a counselor who did it right. Instead of picking one favorite, this counselor gave each kid a specific, personalized award highlighting their own unique achievement and growth during the month. The impact was incredible. Every boy felt seen, valued, and inspired to keep growing.

Instead of teaching staff how to crown a single winner, camps must train counselors to show each kid exactly how they are special. A great counselor unlocks the spark in every seat—whether it’s the child battling anxiety who finally participates, or the quiet kid performing acts of chesed when nobody is watching.

Our camps do an incredible job of creating a vibrant atmosphere of Torah and ruach. To elevate it further, we must shift from comparative, subjective awards to individualized recognition. I implore camp directors to end this award.

Thank you for your time and dedication to our community.

Warm regards,

A Frustrated Mother

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