Op-Ed: The First Year of Marriage, and How Health Disappears

by Chaim Hershkop

I’ve watched young men enter marriage strong, energetic, disciplined, even athletic… and within a year look completely different. Rapid weight gain. Exhaustion. Loss of structure. Loss of confidence. Loss of themselves.

And honestly?
The Sheva Brochos are not what did this to you.

Yes, the first year is busy. There are meals, late nights, adjustments, responsibilities, and emotional changes. But somewhere along the way, many people start treating “I’m married now” as if it means:

Stop training
Stop moving
Stop caring
Stop maintaining discipline

Why?

Marriage is not supposed to be the funeral of your health.

If anything, it should elevate your sense of responsibility.

You are building a home now. A future. A family.
You want energy for your wife.
Strength for your children.
Confidence in yourself.
Discipline in your character.

The problem is that habits formed during this one year become deeply rooted.
Ten, twenty, thirty pounds turns into fifty.
The “temporary break” from the gym becomes five years.
Poor eating becomes normalized.
Exhaustion becomes identity.

And the truth is:
The damage done in one careless year can take decades to reverse.

Not because the body can’t heal — it can.
But because patterns become lifestyles.

Nobody is expecting perfection during Shana Rishona.
But completely abandoning yourself is not healthy, noble, or necessary.

You do not need six intense workouts a week.
You do not need to become obsessed.
But you do need maintenance.
You need structure.
You need movement.
You need self-respect.

A few workouts.
Daily walks.
Better food choices.
Some restraint.
Some discipline.

Small consistencies prevent massive corrections later.

And perhaps most importantly:
Your wife did not marry you so you could disappear a year later.

Take care of yourself.
Not out of vanity —
but out of responsibility.