I would like to tell you a story about a Yid who meant well. Let’s call him Reb Yankel.

Reb Yankel was a dreamer. He dreamed of making it big. He had all kinds of plans to buy real estate and assemble a group of investors to invest in a massive building project in downtown Manhattan. In his mind’s eye, he could already see the glass buildings standing tall, shimmering in the sunlight. His dreams were filled with majestic skyscrapers already built and fully rented, with money pouring in to cover the mortgage and still leaving enough to reap a handsome profit for both his investors and, more importantly, for himself.

In his dreams, Yankel also saw himself being honored at a massive dinner on behalf of his chassidus as “Harabbon Hanoggid Hachossid Rav Yankel.” He imagined all the rabbonim and roshei yeshiva seeking appointments with him and asking his advice on all kinds of matters. And in his mind’s eye, he was impressed with himself!

Look, he put up a few buildings in Manhattan and, presto, people now consulted with him not only on real estate, but on chinuch, on running schools and yeshivos, and so on. Everyone was seeking his advice, and he loved it.

Yankel, however, was not only a dreamer. He was a planner. He meticulously planned how he would attract investors, borrow money from the bank at low interest rates, and hire the best architects and designers to create a mixed-use building with both office space and residential apartments in the heart of Manhattan.

It was a foolproof plan…or so he thought.

Yankel would never undertake a project of such magnitude without consulting his rebbe. After Reb Yankel had put together a game plan to realize his dream, he decided that the time had come to approach his rebbe and tell him about his plans so that he could receive the rebbe’s brocha to proceed.

One fine day, Reb Yankel was waiting on line at kabbolas kahal. It was a long line.

Reb Yankel couldn’t help but think, “I can’t wait until I am matzliach on this project. Once I am matzliach, I will never again have to wait on this terribly long line with all the commoners. The head of the fundraising committee of our kehillah will notice me when I walk in and immediately come over with a smile and a vigorous handshake, exclaiming, ‘Reb Yankel, stand here,’ and he’ll take me right to the front of the line and wink to the gabbai, ‘Reb Yankel’s time is very precious. He cannot afford to wait…’”

Just thinking about that sweet scene made Yankel feel so good.

Reb Yankel walked in to the rebbe and began telling him about his plans for the new project. He explained how he would secure investors and bank financing, and how, according to his calculations, he could be making tens of millions of dollars within a matter of years.

The rebbe listened and replied, “Don’t jump into something as big as this. Check well before you do anything.”

Reb Yankel walked out somewhat confused. The rebbe did not seem nearly as excited about the plan as he was.

He wondered, “What is the rebbe telling me? I already checked into everything and didn’t jump in. I did a lot of homework already.”

One part of him was saying, “I have done exactly what the rebbe said, so I think I can move forward.”

Another voice, however, argued, “Lemaaseh, the rebbe didn’t give me a clear answer telling me that I should go ahead. He didn’t even give me a brocha for hatzlocha. What should I do?”

He couldn’t bear to throw away his plans and dreams. He decided that he would go in again and ask more specifically what the rebbe meant.

Let us not go into the details of what ended up happening after Reb Yankel decided that he could embark on the project.

Let us just say that he is still standing on line with all the “commoners” when he goes in to the rebbe.

Reb Yankel’s “Rebbi”

If you would ask me, I think Reb Yankel had a very good rebbi regarding how one asks a question and distills an answer. I think his rebbi was Bilam.

What happened at the beginning of Parshas Balak?

Balak sends distinguished emissaries to Bilam, asking him to use his special ability and power to curse the Bnei Yisroel. Balak is afraid that the Bnei Yisroel will swallow up Moav “like an ox chews up the greenery of a field.”

The messengers go to Bilam and make their request. Bilam does not answer them right away. He tells them to stay overnight and that, in the morning, he will tell them what Hashem said to him.

What does Hashem tell Bilam in his dream that night?

“Don’t go with them and don’t curse them because he [the nation] is blessed.”

This is what we would call a very clear answer saying, “NO!”

Not only was it a very clear answer, but it came directly from the Aibishter Himself.

What does Bilam do?

He doesn’t take no for an answer. He asks Hashem again.

What does Hashem tell him this time?

“Okay, you can go with them, but you can only say what I tell you that you can say.”

We learn a lesson from Bilam. He asked Hashem the first time and Hashem said no. Bilam wasn’t satisfied with that answer, so he asked again, and this time Hashem sort of said yes.

“B’derech she’odom rotzeh leileich molichin oso — Hashem guides a person in the way that he wants to go.”

How to Accept an Answer

This applies to the way we ask questions of rabbonim, roshei yeshiva, rebbes, and others.

When a person receives an answer, whether he likes it or not, he should not ask again. If he does, the answer may ultimately become what he wants to hear rather than what is good for him.

A person should allow himself to be guided in the way he is being guided min haShomayim. Let Hashgocha Protis guide you.

There are times when a person does not understand how he is being guided from Heaven. He should not try to push against the direction in which he is being led.

Look at Bilam. Even when he refused to listen and went anyway, Hashem placed obstacles in his path. His donkey kept moving to the side and kvetching him. When that didn’t work, the donkey stopped altogether.

What did Bilam do?

He hit the donkey. He beat the donkey.

He should have allowed the donkey to go where it wanted. He should have gotten the hint. He should not have tried to go against the way in which he was being led.

The Real Question: How to Ask

We live in a generation in which it is very popular to ask shailos of rabbonim, and it is wonderful. It demonstrates that we understand that those who are steeped in Torah and halacha have a better understanding of what Hashem wants.

Yes, even in our generation, when we do not have the same level of talmidei chachomim and tzaddikim as previous generations, we must still seek the guidance of the rabbonim of our time, as the Gemara in Maseches Rosh Hashanah teaches, “Ein lecha ela shofet shebeyomecha,” that the rabbonim in each generation possess the koach to pasken and guide their generation just as those of earlier generations guided theirs.

The question, however, is how we ask the question.

Do we ask with negios and try to frame the question in a way that will elicit the outcome we want?

If we do that, we are emulating Bilam.

And what happens when we receive the answer?

Do we try to twist the words of the answer so that they fit our preconceived notion of what we wanted the answer to be?

We sometimes crave a sense of control, and even when Hashem clearly shows us and guides us down one path, we sometimes think that we know better.

When that happens, we risk becoming like poor Yankel, who is still walking around with his grandiose plans that are going nowhere.

Or, even worse, we risk becoming like Bilam.